Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just threw up on my dentist
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
