Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
There r osticjed everywhere
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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