3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
There r osticjed everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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