I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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