dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
