i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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