I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize