went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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