I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You need a sexual gate keeper
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The convent might be a nice break from real life
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
