Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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