the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
