just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I think my moral compass just broke
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