babies were throwing up all over the place
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
These tits shall not be calmed
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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