I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize