so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I will pee on everything he values.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
