At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I think people are normalizing furries
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
