I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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