Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
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