It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
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you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
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Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I need water and some morals
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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