Just mADE A PArabola og urine
honey bunches of taint.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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