Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
