Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
