i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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