I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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