i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
