ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
