i barfeds in our rink
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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