after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
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Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
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You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
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