I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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