Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize