He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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