I hate all girls vehemently.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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