So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My vagina is very pro this idea
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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