I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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