I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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