Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
