Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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