If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
