My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize