who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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