what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Randomize
