I'm lost and stupid without you.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
