U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
