Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I faked an abortion last night.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
