Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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