Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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