Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
