Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
