Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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