so explain again why im purple
no
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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