just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
