i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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