That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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