she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Randomize
