So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
